Spot An Idiot Gambler

12 Ways To Spot An Idiot Gambler

We have to face the facts - there are certainly some lunatics betting who will continue to steal the limelight. Here are twelve ways to spot if a gambler is an idiot.

1 - Says he always wins

Only in a world of fairies and stardust is there a gambler who wins every bet. Anyone with a brain accepts their will be ups and downs along the way. People who only ever mention their wins are their own worst enemy.

2 - Regularly bets on virtual racing

Jumping up and down cheering virtual jockeys riding virtual horses at virtual tracks and then really getting annoyed when they lose, only points to one thing - an idiot.

3 - Listens to strangers talking nonsense

A man in a mac comes into the pub and says he has been told the 4:50 is a fix, get on. Everyone laughs, but watch carefully and you will spot an idiot sneaking out to put his dinner money on it.

4 - Needs to have a bet Its Christmas Eve and all the racing is off. Most take the opportunity to do family things or at worst study future races, but the idiot has another plan and is now backing the outcome of a Swedish volleyball tournament he has found on Eurosport.

5 - Stakes everything on one outcome

He's sure, he's positive, he's convinced it can't lose, he has stuck everything he has on it. Oh dear it gets beaten by a nose. He only wants to borrow a fiver....

6 - Smells, yet still bets

We have all seen one or two of these. Its a shame but its a fact - if you are wearing a string vest, urine-stained ripped trousers and a pair of shoes you found, yet still have a tenner on the favourite - your an idiot!

7 - Believes its fate

He woke up and heard Elvis Presley on the radio, there's a horse called Radio Elvis running in the 2:40. Despite the fact it has 3 legs and is ridden by an elephant he still sticks his mortgage on it.

8 - Refuses to change

He has bet on number 8 beating number 3 thousands of times, it has came up for him on a few occasions and yet he is overall down by a huge amount of money, the facts are staring him straight in the face. He goes to the counter "Twenty on 8 to beat 3 please".

9 - After-times constantly

After every single race he claims to know why it won, that he was thinking of backing it and only didnt because of some bizarre illogical reason (which he firmly believes).

10 - Claims he has no luck whenever losing

Backs the favourite in the first and it loses by a head, "man that was unlucky". Backs an outsider in the next and it falls three from home when going nowhere, "just not getting any luck". Backs 8 to beat 3 and they are the last two home, "with a bit of luck would have got that". Backs a team who are beaten 18-0, "was just unlucky losing that first goal". Etc etc etc.

11 - Is overcome by greed

For once has a decent sized win and could, if he wanted to, do all the things he has been telling himself he gambles for. But before he goes he will just have twenty on the next favourite. Two hours later he has lost the lot and is on his way to the cash machine.

12 - Doesnt have a clue

You see him in the morning on the way in to work, he says is backing Horse A. 2 hours later at the coffee machine and he has moved on to Horse B. Lunchtime its changed to Horse C. That afternoon you bump into him in the corridor, he ended up backing Horse Z. He feels very unlucky as Horse G won the race (he had earlier told someone he was going to back it).

So there you go, a fun look at some of the idiotic things you may see some of the more stupid gamblers doing.

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